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31 January 2006 @ 07:48 pm
daylightfadings apocolyptic or something ...  
Dear Diary [Ew you know that sounds so stupid, oh well],

Things around here have been calm. Alright, so calm is a pretty realtive term these days but in comparison to how life could be I'm going to stick with calm. At least it's calm to my knowledge anyway, it's not like I'm always in the big old loop or anything because I will forever be stuck as the kid. Which you know is fine or whatever, I'm slowly getting over being too bothered by the fact that to everyone who really matters to me, I'm always going to be seen as the 14 year old who can't handle that she's not real. Or the teenager who acts out by getting drunk and arrested. Of course now that Anna found out that we were all affect by a spell? That really can't be blamed on me, not that I'm going to try to get out of taking responsibility for my actions but at least it makes more sense to me now. A lot about that night is still fuzzy so I'm really just going to not worry about it.

Technically speaking though I'm still owed some teenage rebellion moments. I've only had a few and way less than Buffy had in her teen years. Sure I made out with a vampire but I never slept with one. I still have a few months before we can tell if it's genetic, I'll be 18 and well nothing will change but at least i'll be 18.

So I've been mostly spending my time hanging out with Anna. I've wanted to go see Willow and check on her but things seem a little tense with her and why would she want me to go all Dr. Phill on her? I'm also not sure what's going on with Buffy or Faith or if I even want to know because that is seriously weird. I mean all I want is my sister to be happy and everything but I have no idea how that can turn out any way but bad. I mean they've tried to kill each other before; well ok Buffy did sleep with Spike and they'd been trying to kill each other for years but that really doesn't compare. It doesn't help that I'm actually starting to like Faith all I need is to have to start hating her on principal because something bad happens with her and Buffy.

The best news as of late, however, is that Xander's back. It's bad that for a while there when I was so into my own little drama of teenage rebellion that I barely noticed he was gone. I feel really bad about that because it didn't really seem like anyone else noticed either. He's back though and with a new shiny eye and everything, which alright I have to admit is a little weird that somehow he just regrew an eye with some help from ... someone. I can't remember, I was mostly focused on him being back and with both eyes - not to mention that I was trying to not want to pull Cordy's hair. She was being relatively nice and everything but I'm still bitter about her making me cry on Halloween.

I just hope things remain relatively calm. Not that it's a possibility around here, there's always going to be something going on and it's always going to be apocolyptic or something.


I set closed my journal and slipped it quickly between my mattress and quickly fixed up my covers. I wasn't too worried about Anna looking for it or anything and it probably wouldn't matter to me much if she read it but it's kind of this weird habit. Buffy's diary had always been the holy grail in the house and I made a big deal about finding it and reading it so I'm really paranoid about someone finding it. Not that anyone finds me interesting enough to actually even care that I keep a diary but whatever.

I was really bored and afraid to wish for something to happen because obviously, be careful what you wish for and everything. If knowing Anya had taught me anything it was that - of course there was also the whole thing with the wish I accidentally made on Buffy's birthday.

Still. Bored.

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished