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29 November 2005 @ 02:42 pm
Write a letter to yourself as a child.  

So I probably shouldn’t tell you this because god knows I didn’t take it well when I found out, but I’m not sure I care. The truth will set you free right? You so won’t understand that, and if I really think about it this whole letter thing is probably pointless because your childhood is fake and implanted so this so won’t make a difference.

Which elevates all guilt I’m starting to feel by even writing this.

Anyways, basically I’m you only older, I wouldn’t say wiser cause whatever, I’m not. All those fun happy memories you have? Not real. See you are this key to this hell dimension and some goddess who has a thing for shoes is totally going to try to drain you dry but Buffy’s going to stop it by jumping off the tower for you.

Don’t let her; screw Buffy and her noble bullshit. Cause the world needs her and you don’t want to die, I know that but she can’t. So when you are up on that tower and Buffy’s running to save you, she’ll throw this icky demon guy off the tower but before she can stop you – run and jump. I don’t know if it will hurt but do it anyway. I know it’s scary, it’s hard but if Buffy jumps Willow will just bring her back and then she’ll not be Buffy again for a while, also when Willow brings her back it’s this huge catalyst for the end of the slayer period. So jump.

You’ll be happy in your life before that; not all of it will be real or even easy but you will.

So let me tell you some other key things. Don’t take Mom or Buffy for granted; you’ll loose them and they are the only family you’ll ever have.

Stop making up a secret relationship with Xander in your head ok? Cause it’s just not healthy, besides he’s totally in love with Anya and you are just a kid.

You are never going to leave Buffy’s shadow, but it’s not her fault you are there, it’s everyone’s so don’t take it all out on her. She’s just along for the ride just like the rest of us. You will always be Buffy’s little sister; there’s nothing you can do about it so just get over it already ok? Stop complaining all the time and enjoy life while you have it, because you still have to jump off that tower at 14, got me?

Boys aren’t icky, but don’t waste your time worrying about them because you need to spend time with Mom and Buffy and your friends, in the end they are the only ones that matter.

Oh, no matter what anyone says Spike won’t hurt you, don’t let them take him away. He’s your best friend in the world and he won’t treat you like a kid or just Buffy’s sister, but he’s totally in love with her so don’t delude yourself into thinking he could want you. Nobody’s ever going to want you. Trust me, just keep going and love your family and it’ll be enough. Don’t bother being upset about things you can’t change.

Dad? He’s an asshole and you and Buffy shouldn’t waste your time trying to prove anything to him. He won’t even show up to mom’s funeral and you’ll spend all night crying in Buffy’s arms wanting her to take it away but she can’t, she’s not even dealing either. Don’t push her.

Dawn, DO NOT TRY TO BRING MOM BACK, she won’t be herself, you’ll want her arms around you so badly that you feel like you’ll die if she can’t hold you but don’t do it. You don’t want her like that.

Life sucks, it’s depressing and morbid; but you aren’t even real so there’s no point in worrying about it. When you wonder if you even have a soul ask Spike what it’s like, you’ll want to so badly but you won’t because you’ll be too afraid to know if you don’t have one. Ask him if the monks could make a human does that mean they can make a soul? Don’t let him tell Buffy or Giles, cause then they’ll say whatever they think will make you feel better, but they won’t know. I’m not sure if you have a soul, sometimes you’ll feel so empty and you’ll wonder if it’s normal.

I don’t know that answer.

But Dawn? Jump off that damn tower, if you don’t everything will go to hell. Buffy will be sad, but she’ll get over it. Jump. If you only choose to listen to one thing I say. JUMP.

Because if you don’t? It’s all your fault.

Love Always,

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 790
Current Mood: determineddetermined
Tara Maclaymythic_musings on November 29th, 2005 11:29 pm (UTC)
Dearest Dawn -
You are even more special then you'll ever let yourself believe.
I love you dearly and I'm so glad to know you.


[OOC: Again, crying here. You've a knack lady]
Melaka Fray: OOCslayer_fray on November 30th, 2005 09:30 am (UTC)
[OOC: Oh wow.]
Dawn Summers: dance like no ones watchinganewdawn on December 6th, 2005 11:10 pm (UTC)
[OOC - Thanks a lot, it came out far more cynical than I originally intended]
Connor Riley: ooc  by ashylogicabetterlie on December 1st, 2005 07:58 am (UTC)
Wonderful challenge reply.
Dawn Summers: about this womananewdawn on December 6th, 2005 11:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I appreciate that a lot.