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Dawn Summers
I've been in LA for about two months. When my dad first told me he wanted me back in the country for college I blew him off. He had no right to suddenly decide to be a father to me because he was getting old and finally realizing that he had children who were growing up with out him. Then Buffy decided she wanted to travel some with Giles and I had the option of staying in Italy for school or going to one of the many college's in the states that had accepted me. I ended up choosing UCLA because of my Dad but we made a deal that I was not going to live with him and I really didn't want to live in the dorms either.

So what did I do? I called Angel and pouted and begged and cajoled and eventually he gave up and told me I could stay in one of the many rooms that the Hyperion had free. Buffy was decidedly unnerved that I was going to be living with Angel; which was totally just a technicality anyway. She keeps trying to convince everyone she's over him and she doesn't want to go back to L.A. herself. I totally give her two months tops before she shows up under the pretense of visiting me. Anyways, Angel wouldn't deny me. The memories may be made up but he completely treated me like a kid sister when he and Buffy dated and I could get him to do just about anything. Buffy hated it, sucks for her.

It was strange at first. Mostly the being back in L.A. and dealing with Angel's 'family'. They were his family in the same way that Xander, Willow & Giles were mine. Blood relations didn't suppose family.

I barely remembered Wesley from when he was Buffy's watcher. I think I probably met him all of three times and I was so young back then that I wasn't impressed with any of Buffy's friends except Angel and Xander because they spoiled me. Wesley was nothing like I remembered him, which was good, he was smart and patient (with me anyway) and probably the only person who didn't look at me funny when I got excited about my Latin projects - go figure. Then there was Cordelia who I'd always hated on principal but she was nothing short of amusing now. Plus she was a big shopper and with the allowance my dad had me on she made the perfect partner in crime in that arena. Her shoe collection rivaled Buffy's. Fred was a little strange in that science geek kind of way but I liked her well enough. Gunn was the one who helped me train when no one else knew about it. I kept telling Angel that with the number of enemies he had and still being the slayers sister I so needed to know how to defend myself better but he'd just glower and ignore me so Gunn taught me a wicked left hook and told me I better use it on unruly boys at school.

It was like having a new family or maybe just a larger one. They accepted me pretty easily, which I was actually kind of surprised about. Maybe it's that when Wes gets all excited about research I'm right there with him and none of them have to deal with it. Neither of us are blind, we see the faces Cordy makes when there's that 'Eureka' moment. Which I so had the other day. I always wanted to say Eureka and as it turns out I'm really good with the research and the languages.

Though Wes always has to help with my Latin. I had a very Xander moment a few weeks ago and Wes just shook his head. I swear I could hear Giles's British voice in my head 'Don't speak latin in front of the books'. I'm a little more careful now. But I get excited about school and languages and so Wesley's good to share that with. Plus he's really funny most of the time, even though everyone else usually looks at him like he's crazy. Except Fred, who I sometimes suspect is actually crazy.

Buffy calls like every other day and I always know its her because Cordelia rolls her eyes or if Angel manages to pick up the phone he closes his office door like we all don't know he and Buffy are talking about ... whatever it is they manage to talk about these days. Probably the best way to behead a G'hilst demon or something as gross; so not going to analyze that relationship.

I miss Buffy a lot but with her calling every two seconds its harder to miss her. I miss Giles too and even Andrew but he says he might visit soon, I think he wants to document Angel Inc on film and I'm seriously doubting anyone but Cordelia will be into that. You never know. I should probably keep Andrew away from Angel if he shows up, cause knowing him he'll start talking about Spike and that's a surefire way to make Angel even more broody.

Anyways. So there's this new case, these demons are preying on like some rich kids at this boarding school and Wes and I are convinced that there's been a curse or a spell or something that's luring these demons to the school and I'm trying to find a reference in this old musty book written in like six demonic languages and only three I'm familiar with and my notebook is so filled with notes that my hand is all crampy.

Plus I have an Oral Latin exam in the morning and Angel keeps glowering and telling me to stop researching and to go study. Like thanks Dad. But I'm still in the Lobby drinking Wesley's tea, and I'm the only one who does, it's Giles's fault. Angel's out decapitating demons anyway it's not like he'll know and besides, Wes will totally go over my pronunciation with me before I go to bed so I'm not worried.

"Hey Wes!" I yell across the Lobby, from my perch on the circular red couch that I find best for research. You'd think we were in a library from the irritated look he sends me. I just stick my tongue out at him, ensuring my maturity, and continue, "This symbol is giving me trouble and I'm pretty sure it's important."
Dawn Summers
12 June 2006 @ 02:41 pm
I'm sorry to say that I'm removing Dawn from TM. I've e-mail the appropriate Mod and just remembered that I hadn't posted anything here.

Unfortunately this version of my Dawn, the bitter girl she's become in my challanges, isn't speaking to me much anymore and so I made the hard decision to let her be. I just want to thank everyone who played with her and who read my responses. I'm not done playing Dawn, just putting her to rest here.

Thank you,
Gin - Dawn!Mun
Dawn Summers
In the end leaving Rome was something both Buffy and I were ready for, she just headed to London while I headed to L.A. I missed California and the sun, the beach, all of it. Obviously with Sunnydale having imploded in on itself going back to my hometown wasn't an option - or I guess technically it was because technically L.A. was my hometown. So I talked to my dad who was pleasently not thrilled with the idea. Sure that sounds like a bad thing but if he'd been super excited then he would have tried to make me live with him and I just so wasn't into that. So while he's helping me pay for it I'm not having to see him everyday or even once a week. I appreciate his lack of caring because I got over that need for a father figure a long time ago - besides I had Giles.

Schools been in session for about a month now and things are starting to gear up. Tests, papers, you know all the kinds of things I love, yeah I became kind of school dork in Rome - it was an outlet. I'm taking the weirdest classes this semester; English, Drama 101, Intro to Latin, Dance and Philosophy. Most of my classes were huge, like I couldn't name ten people in them with me, beyond my roommate Madison and her nice little social club. She wasn't horrible but she was stuck up, rich and liked to talk about everyone so I tried to keep on her good side.

Drama and Latin were smaller classes and so getting to know people in them was easier. I'd found a nice little nitche of friends that were pretty diverse. People adored that I lived in Rome for two years, popularity wasn't too hard, I just didn't bother with it that much. Madison practically forced me to rush but I decided not to go greek. She called me a freak behind my back and then to the sorority (that apparently still wants me) that I was just wanting to focus on academics.

One day Madison and I were sitting in the quad eating lunch, she was trying to get me to tell her which shops in Rome were the best because she was going to convince her father to take her there for christmas, when some guy walked by and said something rude. And when I say rude I'm making a huge understatement. He grinned at her and then winked at me and walked away. After that I heard nothing but about the jackass that is Logan Echolls for weeks. You think I'm kidding?

Apparently Madison dated one of his friends in high school so she knew all the dirt and the fact that I'd never heard of him had to be because I was in Rome for two years. The truth was I did know who his parents were but I didn't see how that made his life anyone's business. Then of course she told me everything. About his girlfriend dying, killed by his father as it turned out, him being accused of murder, twice, his father getting murdered, some girl she only refered to a Slutty Mars, some rich guy who fled town with a baby and a crash of a bus that killed a bunch of people. Apparently the guy who crashed the bus was her ex's brother. She said she'd known all along that there was something wrong with the virgin freak. Obviously, Madison didn't like Logan too much, which made me kind of like him a little.

Of course that was until I noticed him in my drama class. Well I'd noticed him before, he was hot, but it hadn't registered that he was that guy until one day where he made a girl cry during an improv excercise. I decided maybe for once Madison was right about him. He was a freak. Of course she'd said the same about me but maybe he was just more of a jackass; those I didn't really like. I'd had my fill of them in Sunnydale and Rome. I mean, hello my first kiss was a vampire who tried to kill me and RJ? Love spell that backfired. That's not even to count the guys in Rome and I'm so not going there.

Logan was pretty much replaced in my mind by my latin paper and the date I had the week before. Then of course in drama class Professor Macloed aka Fiona, told us our first major grade was going to be based on how we perform as a team. I thought it was pretty cool, we'd have a week to prepare but she was going to be pretty critical. I thought it was awesome, until she assigned me my partener; Logan Echolls. He grinned my way when she paired our names together - which surprised me because he knew my name. Then she proceeded to tell us that these would also be auditions, mandatory for the play she was directing this semester.

Which I actually would have loved to do, but not at the expense of my sanity. It's not that I really put too much credance into what Madison said about people but from what I'd seen, this was not going to be fun.

After class, I was putting my book in my bag and I heard someone walk up to me. I looked up and there he was, with that grin. That stupid smirky grin that I just wanted to hit him for.

"Yeah?" I asked with half interest.

I had to meet Leslie, L.A's slayer, in two hours and I had a paper to start before I left. We'd made friends back in Sunnydale and now that she was here I kept her company on patrol. Plus she went to UCLA too and I tutored her in English.
Dawn Summers
11 May 2006 @ 07:24 pm
When I was a kid I wrote everything down in my journal. I was sure that one day I was going to publish this tell all tale about the life of a vampire slayer, from her little sister’s point of view. Even at thirteen I was sure that the world wanted to hear what I had to say, I was sure that I needed to tell them these things. And I might have even copied some of Buffy’s journal down in mine, you know for later analysis and everything. But I was thirteen and all of my journals were destroyed with Sunnydale so Buffy couldn’t possibly get mad now, right? Whatever I’m an adult and I’m not afraid of Buffy.

I always wanted to write, I don’t know how good I was at it but I just knew I could write something great and people would love it. It would move them and change them and I’d be doing something for the good of the world, I’d do my part to make it a better place, instead of just being the little sister of the person who made the difference.

Now I guess people still consider me a child, especially people who’ve known me since I was in my little world of let’s write everything down but I have no idea what I want to do with my life now. I went through this small period of wanting to be a watcher but now I’m not so sure. Studying Latin at Harvard is like one step away from being the biggest nerd since Giles or Wesley.

I love to dance. Maybe that’s what I should do, drop my Latin classes and take ballet or modern dance or something else like that.

I don’t have anything figured out really. I just want to be Dawn for a while and see where that takes me.

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 313
Dawn Summers
15 April 2006 @ 09:16 pm

Some of you may have noticed that Dawn hasn't been around lately. I've just come off a 6 week Hiatus that the moderators of TM were nice enough to give me. I'm sorry I never had any posts signaling my hiatus but I was unable to make them and it slipped my mind to have my mother do it for me.

About 6 weeks ago I was in an ATV accident and fractured my arm in 4 places. I was bed-ridden, awaiting news on if I'd need surgery and unable to use my arm at all. I've made a lot of progress over the past few weeks and I'm able to type now so I'm working on getting all of my role playing responsibilities caught up. Unfortunately I can't spend countless hours at the computer anymore but I'll be around some and be answering challanges regularly.

Thanks for your time,
Gin - Duncan, Jack, Dawn - Mun
Dawn Summers
15 April 2006 @ 09:15 pm
I miss free time. Who knew that Harvard was going to be this insane. I mean I knew it was going to be really hard but I didn’t realize I’d have no time to spend with anything but books. Sometimes I wonder if going to school was a good idea, I mean maybe I should have taken a year off and done some traveling or tried to get to know my dad. Instead I moved to Boston and started going to one of the hardest schools in the country. It’s not like I’m struggling it’s just so much work that I barely feel like I have time to be myself let alone hang out with anyone. I’d like to have friends sometime this century.

I miss my mom but I really can’t get into that emotional rollercoaster right now. I have a paper due tomorrow and I’m still conjugating my Latin verbs.

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 152
Dawn Summers
15 April 2006 @ 09:13 pm
Dawn eyed Isabella carefully and wondered for the millionth time how she’d been talked into going to a stupid fortune teller. If she wanted to know her future she’d look Angel up and ask him to ask one of those evil psychics he had working for him whether or not she was going to ace her Latin test the next week. It didn’t help that the woman had one of the thickest Italian accents she’d ever heard and she could barely understand what she was saying. Yet, she’d let her roommate talk her into this and now she had to sit here while Madame Marie (how original) droned on and on about Isabella’s life line.

It wasn’t like she didn’t believe in this stuff, Dawn knew first hand that magic was real, as were witched and psychics but that didn’t mean she wanted to subject herself to a possible crackpot who only thought she knew what the hell she was talking about. It didn’t help that the Madame kept looking into her eyes with a weird look that Dawn just didn’t like.

Isabella nudged her in the side and Dawn turned her head, “She wants to read your palm, come on Dawn.”

Dawn sighed heavily and plopped her wrist ungracefully on the table. Madame Marie picked up her hand and turned her palm over. Immediately Dawn felt the older woman’s fingertip run down the creases in her hand.

“Oh my,” she began, her thick accent making it hard to understand. “You have the longest lifeline I’ve ever seen. You are so much older than you appear to be. My dear, the blood you’ve seen spilled …”

Madame Marie looked at her and Dawn pulled her hand back and fidgeted in her seat. “That’s really not funny but thanks for you’re time anyway.”

With that Dawn got up and headed out to the side street, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She ignored Isabella’s questions as they headed back towards their dorm. Dawn was damn sure she wasn’t into palm reading now.

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 344
Dawn Summers
Is this a question I really have to answer? I mean come on, how many apocalypses have I been a part of either by choice of by way of being kidnapped for the duration? The most dangerous thing I’ve ever done is not running and hiding anytime the world is on the verge of ending. Having my first kiss be a vampire was right up there too. It’s kind of sad how many dangerous situations I’ve been in but most weren’t like I decide to go see if this demon will kill me today kind of things. Like dangerous situations out of necessity, I’m still alive though so in the end I guess putting myself in those situations wasn’t all that bad.

I know life is short and everything and I consider myself someone who lives instead of hides but it’s not like I go out and go bungee jumping or something. I mean that is dangerous, swimming with sharks is dangerous, working with magic you can’t control is dangerous and ok so I have done that. I tried to bring my mom back from the dead once even though I knew that she wasn’t going to be her and that alone, just working with that kind of dark magic when I had no experience what so ever was pretty dangerous. I guess that counts. Xander would say being friends with Spike is dangerous but to Xander dating is dangerous so you can’t really put much stock in that. It’s a long story he has a weird history with demons or something.

My life is one big portrait of danger because of who and what I am. Being me is dangerous, I’m the key and I’m the ‘greatest slayer in history’s’ little sister but it’s not like I can (or even would) stop being me now can I? If you want to really think about danger it’s all in what you consider, I mean taking risks is dangerous. Walking across the street when there are cars on the road is dangerous, what the hell isn’t dangerous these days?

Living is pretty damn dangerous but it’s also pretty fun a lot of the time, you know when it’s not sucking beyond belief.

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 371
Dawn Summers
16 February 2006 @ 05:42 pm
It was one of those days...

When everything seemed to fall into place. There I was opening my mail in my dorm in Italy and there was a letter from Harvard.

I’d applied on a whim when I’d found out half of my ‘family’ was there, I’d had a message on my machine from Buffy and hearing her voice had started this dull ache inside where I was just missing everything from home. I wanted to see people I knew and the whole novelty of Rome was just wearing off.

I’d called my dad and talked to him about school and how I was thinking about going back to the states to get an education and he was happy, even though I was planning to still be really far away from him. I think it was more that his little girl wasn’t going to be abroad with all those horny Italian men anymore. Who knows really, I’m still not on the best of terms with my dad but I know he cares about me and he supported me.

It all happened really fast that day/night, calling up Harvard and getting the transfer put through as quickly as possible.

It was just a good day for the beginning of the rest of my life.

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 207
Dawn Summers
31 January 2006 @ 07:48 pm
Dear Diary [Ew you know that sounds so stupid, oh well],

Things around here have been calm. Alright, so calm is a pretty realtive term these days but in comparison to how life could be I'm going to stick with calm. At least it's calm to my knowledge anyway, it's not like I'm always in the big old loop or anything because I will forever be stuck as the kid. Which you know is fine or whatever, I'm slowly getting over being too bothered by the fact that to everyone who really matters to me, I'm always going to be seen as the 14 year old who can't handle that she's not real. Or the teenager who acts out by getting drunk and arrested. Of course now that Anna found out that we were all affect by a spell? That really can't be blamed on me, not that I'm going to try to get out of taking responsibility for my actions but at least it makes more sense to me now. A lot about that night is still fuzzy so I'm really just going to not worry about it.

Technically speaking though I'm still owed some teenage rebellion moments. I've only had a few and way less than Buffy had in her teen years. Sure I made out with a vampire but I never slept with one. I still have a few months before we can tell if it's genetic, I'll be 18 and well nothing will change but at least i'll be 18.

So I've been mostly spending my time hanging out with Anna. I've wanted to go see Willow and check on her but things seem a little tense with her and why would she want me to go all Dr. Phill on her? I'm also not sure what's going on with Buffy or Faith or if I even want to know because that is seriously weird. I mean all I want is my sister to be happy and everything but I have no idea how that can turn out any way but bad. I mean they've tried to kill each other before; well ok Buffy did sleep with Spike and they'd been trying to kill each other for years but that really doesn't compare. It doesn't help that I'm actually starting to like Faith all I need is to have to start hating her on principal because something bad happens with her and Buffy.

The best news as of late, however, is that Xander's back. It's bad that for a while there when I was so into my own little drama of teenage rebellion that I barely noticed he was gone. I feel really bad about that because it didn't really seem like anyone else noticed either. He's back though and with a new shiny eye and everything, which alright I have to admit is a little weird that somehow he just regrew an eye with some help from ... someone. I can't remember, I was mostly focused on him being back and with both eyes - not to mention that I was trying to not want to pull Cordy's hair. She was being relatively nice and everything but I'm still bitter about her making me cry on Halloween.

I just hope things remain relatively calm. Not that it's a possibility around here, there's always going to be something going on and it's always going to be apocolyptic or something.


I set closed my journal and slipped it quickly between my mattress and quickly fixed up my covers. I wasn't too worried about Anna looking for it or anything and it probably wouldn't matter to me much if she read it but it's kind of this weird habit. Buffy's diary had always been the holy grail in the house and I made a big deal about finding it and reading it so I'm really paranoid about someone finding it. Not that anyone finds me interesting enough to actually even care that I keep a diary but whatever.

I was really bored and afraid to wish for something to happen because obviously, be careful what you wish for and everything. If knowing Anya had taught me anything it was that - of course there was also the whole thing with the wish I accidentally made on Buffy's birthday.

Still. Bored.

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Dawn Summers
It was Xander. Right after the mix up with Amanda and me thinking I was one of the potentials I was feeling useless. I mean what did I really do? I researched and played the little sister and I played that part so well. There was always something to remind me that I wasn’t special and I’ve never considered being not real as being special and no one is going to convince me that it makes me special so there’s really no reason to try.

Anyways, Xander made me feel like I wasn’t alone. He called me extraordinary and he reminded me that yes, we may not have super powers but we are just as important to the world and saving it as any of the slayers or other good guys because we knew and we were doing something to help.

Nothing is too small a contribution. For once in my life the world didn’t seem so bad because we were saving it. It didn’t matter then that I didn’t have the kind of higher purpose that made me a slayer like Buffy or Kennedy or any of the other slayers/potentials. I still had a purpose and Xander reminded me of that. It was nice, to not feel so alone in the face of everything that was to come.

Even if he did kidnap me on Buffy’s orders later.

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 229
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: Ani Difranco - Amazing Grace
Dawn Summers
09 January 2006 @ 12:46 am
Just in case you haven't seen this yet. (I'm pretty sure you probably have, but just in case ...) Click Here (Image Heavy) & Scroll Down to the bottom of the post.
Dawn Summers
09 January 2006 @ 12:35 am
Locked from ALL muses

Say what you have always wanted to say but have been afraid to.


There are a lot of things I’ve wanted to say to you in the course of my life. Though, we both know most of it was made up so everything before I was 13 I’m just going to leave out. Those monks were pretty creative you know, because I have some memories that are just weird, ones I know aren’t just me being tacked on to what actually happened. Monks really shouldn’t be that creative, seriously. They are stuck in a monastery reading about whatever it is they read about all day; they never get out and never have sex so you’d think creativity wouldn’t be their strong point. Enough about the monks, I’m not trying to stall or anything.

I read your diary a lot when I was a kid, even at 13 because I thought you were the most interesting person I knew. Some of it was definitely because you were a slayer but I think it was just sisterly affection disguised as ammunition to get out of doing chores; which I should note I didn’t use very often. I stopped after I found out I wasn’t real, I figured maybe there were things I really shouldn’t or didn’t want to know and maybe if I respected your privacy I wouldn’t find out that I was evil or something too. I’m glad, I don’t know if you wrote about when you got back or the things that went on with Spike but I’m really glad I didn’t read about them. The Angel stuff scarred me enough- not that it’s your fault, I did choose to read it after all.

I hated you for a long time Buffy. You left me that year, Mom was gone, Dad was useless and as much as everyone tried they weren’t you. I hated that you took away what I was meant for; I was made to open and close that portal and you just jumped in and saved the day telling me to live because it was brave. What did you do? You died! I hated you for making me feel so alone that I slept next to a robot for months because she looked so much like you. I hated you because you gave up after you promised mom you’d take care of me. You shoved me off on your friends because you had to save the world, you had to save me. Don’t get me wrong Buffy, I didn’t want to die, I still don’t want to die but I hated you so much for taking away that choice. The thing I hated you most for though? I knew you weren’t lying when you said I was real, that I was yours; but when you jumped off that tower it didn’t matter anymore. I hated you because you were impossible not to love.

When you came back I was so ashamed of it. No one would even mention your name around me except Spike; he’s the only one who didn’t just pretend like the world was normal.

That year I kept hating you because it seemed easier than trying to figure out what was wrong. I was so mad all the time. After we got music happy and you told us you’d been in heaven; God I was so angry! Angry at you for not telling me, angry at Willow, Xander, Tara & Anya for bringing you back. I was angry at Spike because I didn’t exist to him much anymore. You were such a shadow of yourself Buffy and then when I found out about you and Spike? You know I had a thing for him right? It hurt in that irrational teenage angst way that seems so huge until you’re far away from it. Then I found out what he did and I tried to hate him and I tried to forgive you for the whole year because at that moment all I wanted to do was make sure you were ok.

Then Willow tried to end the world and I was so sure you were upset because it hadn’t ended. You weren’t there Buffy; I know I didn’t see you, I didn’t see your pain because I was too wrapped up in my own but God you weren’t there. I almost wish the bot was back because I hadn’t felt any comfort in such a long time.

That summer things changed. You changed and I started seeing you again, the real you and then everything fell apart but you were so strong through all of it. You were doing everything you could and I was so proud of you. At the end though things were so wrong, everything was wrong and I felt like you were slipping away again. You’d changed, you didn’t have warmth in your eyes anymore and I was scared.

So we usurped you, threw you out of the house because half the slayers didn’t want to be lead by you and I agreed with them because honestly Buffy? I was afraid of you. You would have slit my throat and bled me dry if you thought that would have stopped the first and I knew it; I was afraid you’d take the choice away again. When it was all over, you weren’t the same. You still aren’t the same but I see you again, in your eyes there’s fire and passion and love when it seemed so lacking before.

I was always in your shadow Buffy. I’m always going to be in your shadow no matter what you think about it. I’ve accepted that, I’m always going to be Buffy’s little sister and for once in my life I’m completely ok with that; because I’m proud to be your sister, to be made from you. I’m sorry for reading your diary, for holding on to hate, for kicking you out and being afraid; but I can’t take any of those things back.

There something I never tell you enough. Beyond it all, everything we’ve been through and the range of emotions associated with the past. I love you Buffy. Because of you? I know I’m real.


Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 1,026
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Dawn Summers
16 December 2005 @ 08:31 pm
What does "karma" mean to you?

Karma? I mean I’ve heard about it; Willow and Tara told me about the threefold law and I’ve read about it some. I don’t know how much I buy into Karma though, I don’t want to discount it because I know that there are things out there that I’ve never thought much of. I mean even a few weeks ago I would have laughed if you told me there was a spell or magic to turn people into kittens. My point is I don’t really think Karma means anything to me but I’m not going to go kill someone, threefold? That doesn’t sound fun to me.

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 106
Current Mood: calmcalm
Dawn Summers
16 December 2005 @ 08:29 pm
What are you happy about right now?

Dawn sighs and hefts the box on her side and does everything she can not to fall over while she makes her way up the stairs. She could have asked for help from, oh well anyone but she hadn’t. She liked being independent and if that meant carrying every damn box up the stairs she’d do it by herself. She was stubborn; it was a Summers Family trait, of that she was sure. Someone would look at her strangely and she’d smile and keep on trudging. She wasn’t helpless; hopefully she’d proved that in the years since Sunnydale. Things like this gave her a cause for smile, even when the world repeatedly showed her that it sucked beyond belief; that there was no reason to smile.

Simple pleasures; Life taught her to enjoy them as often as she could. Cause soon enough the rug would be pulled out from under her.

When she got up to her floor and sat down the last box she smiled.

“Welcome to your very first apartment Dawn.”

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 173
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Dawn Summers
16 December 2005 @ 08:26 pm
What is the thing you regret most NOT saying?

“Thank you Buffy.”

You know I never really thanked her for giving her life for me. That’s a pretty big deal, someone told me later, I don’t know if it was Giles or Willow, Tara or Spike but one of them told me that she said if I died she’d quit. Can you imagine that? Buffy just up an quitting being a slayer? Not that she could, but she was serious.

She gave up everything to me and I’m not talking about an expression here. She literally gave her life to save me. The world to; and look at everyone sitting pretty and continually ignoring the horrors in the world. Like in Sunnydale? Those people made me sick. The death rate in that town was insane and then someone would see their dead friend at the bronze living it up on the dance floor and no one said ‘hey maybe this town is fucked up’. Sorry about the language but you know it’s true.

How many people thanked my sister? I mean I didn’t even thank her for DYING for me so I can’t imagine how little thanks she got from everyone else. We’re all pathetic; all of us, me, Willow, Tara, Xander, Giles, Spike and Anya? Did any of us thank her? They We bring her back from heaven and expect a thank you; but no one ever thanked her.

Buffy? Thank you.

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 234
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Dawn Summers
16 December 2005 @ 07:59 pm
application for FMCollapse )
Current Mood: amusedamused
Dawn Summers
07 December 2005 @ 04:35 pm
Presents, interestingCollapse )
Current Mood: creativecreative
Dawn Summers
07 December 2005 @ 04:24 pm
Angel did it, so obviously if a 250+ vampire is talking about music who am I not to follow along like a sheep?

Instructions: List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your Livejournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

1. Me vs. The World by the Halo Friendlies
Cause it's me against the world
(Oh what a stupid day)
Yeah, it's me against the world
(Just stay out of my way)
And incase you haven't noticed
And incase you haven't heard
It's just me against the world
And the world is winning

2. Volcano Girls by Veruca Salt
Leave me, lying here.
Cause I don't wanna go. [x2]
Tell me, tell me
what you really want from me.
You gotta let me know.
I'm falling off and
I need you terribly.
One down and one to go.
Volcano Girls,
we really can't be beat.
Warm us up and watch us blow.

3. Vampires Will Never Hurt You by My Chemical Romance
And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone get me to the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart

And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and

4. Perfect Girl by Sarah MacLachlan
You will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo this
Knowing that you're loved no matter what
And everything will come around
In time

I own my insecurities
I try to own my destiny
That I can make or break it if I choose
But you take my words and twist them 'round
'til I'm the one that brings you down
Make me feel like I'm the one to blame
For all this

5. Change Your Mind by The Killers
Out again, a siren screams at half past ten
And you won't let go
While I ignore, that we both felt like this
Before it starts to show
So if I had a chance
Would you let me know

Why aren't you shaking
Step back in time
Graciously taken
Oh you're too kind

And if the answer is no
Can I change your mind

We're all the same
And love is blind
The sun is gone
Before it shines

6. Out Tonight (Rent Soundtrack)
Whats the time?
Well it's gotta be close to midnight
My body's talking to me
It say,'Time for danger'

It says 'I wanna commit a crime
Wanna be the cause of a fight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt
With a stranger'

I've had a knack from way back
At breaking the rules once I learn the
Get-up life's too quick

7. Just Let Me Cry by Ashlee Simpson
I'm about to lose control

I, I don't know why
Why you need some reason to feel lost inside
You, you know that I'm alright
You know that I'm just the kind of girl that feels so hurt and smiles

I don't use excuses
Don't ask why
It's just a breakdown
It happens all the time
So get out of my face
Don't even try
Ya wanna help me, just let me cry
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
Dawn Summers
30 November 2005 @ 07:21 pm
I think there's always something we don't like about ourselves; something like we have a big nose or our hair just doesn't sit right. I wish I worried about stupid things like that. And I'm not even trying to complain about the life I live, with vampires and demons and evil. Where people I care about have to go down to the freakin' underworld to deal with some stupid wraith whose going to make everyones life a living hell. I mean that's not always fun, people always being in danger but it's my life.

I guess my biggest issue isn't even one anyone knows about, at least nothing I ever really talk about with anyone. I'm sure if you asked anyone they'd say how I'm so tired of being in Buffy's shadow and I think she should get that she's not the center of the whole damn universe. While some of that is always going to be true I'm over trying to get out of Buffy's shadow, hoping and waiting for it to happen, it won't. Honestly though it's not anyones fault, it's just how the cookie crumbles and every other cliche' I could spout out about it.

I have good friends, some of them I only have because of Buffy, like I'm going to complain about knowing Xander or Willow? As if I'd ever have met people like them without Buffy? This is me not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Sure I mean Buffy totally pisses me off all the time and she can act like a bigger brat than me on occasion, and everyone knows thats a feat, I still love her. She's Buffy and she shouldn't change because people think she's self righteous or whatever. They should try to be in her shoes; god knows I wouldn't have gotten past the master if it were me instead of her.

sometimes the wind blows through the trees, but my voice falls silentCollapse )

I eye the suitcase in my closet, wondering how far I could get before someone stopped me. What would be the easy answer? I'm not sure if it would be easier to stay or to go.

I lay back on my bed and sigh; I've always known where home was.
Dawn Summers
30 November 2005 @ 12:19 am
<td align="center" style="background: #000000; color: #FFFFFF;">Dawn's Random Movie Quote:

'I can't go all my life waiting to catch you between husbands.'

- Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>
Dawn Summers
29 November 2005 @ 02:52 pm
Dawn sighs as she climbs into the taxi at LAX. She has no idea what time it is only that she wants to sleep, like now. She mumbles the hotel information to the cabbie and lays her head back on the seat. She'd spent hours upon hours in airports waiting for connecting flights, using Dad's credit card to go online and keep herself sane. She'd have thought she'd be more surprised about this whole kitten thing than she was and she barely remembered a few of the conversations she'd had after the 5th hour of sitting in front of the computer in the airport but hey, whatever it was her life.

She'd managed to find some things about animal transformations in one of the books she'd had with her but nothing specific enough to give her any idea as to why Spike was a kitten. She had, however bought a few kitten toys and catnip at the airport for him, she knew Spike had to be a totally cute kitten and she was determined to never let him forget he'd been one, once he was turned back of course.

After a few long minutes the cab pulled up in front of a posh hotel and she got out and made her way inside. The check in process was a large blur in her head as she opened the door to her room, she considered calling Cordy's room but she was way too tired to hold much of a conversation. Instead she called down to the front desk and left Cordy a message telling her the room number and that she had to get some sleep.

She didn't take any time to unpack, she just fell into the comfy queen sized bed and slept. Damn she was exhausted. She'd get up and deal with life later.
Dawn Summers
29 November 2005 @ 02:42 pm

So I probably shouldn’t tell you this because god knows I didn’t take it well when I found out, but I’m not sure I care. The truth will set you free right? You so won’t understand that, and if I really think about it this whole letter thing is probably pointless because your childhood is fake and implanted so this so won’t make a difference.

Which elevates all guilt I’m starting to feel by even writing this.

Anyways, basically I’m you only older, I wouldn’t say wiser cause whatever, I’m not. All those fun happy memories you have? Not real. See you are this key to this hell dimension and some goddess who has a thing for shoes is totally going to try to drain you dry but Buffy’s going to stop it by jumping off the tower for you.

Don’t let her; screw Buffy and her noble bullshit. Cause the world needs her and you don’t want to die, I know that but she can’t. So when you are up on that tower and Buffy’s running to save you, she’ll throw this icky demon guy off the tower but before she can stop you – run and jump. I don’t know if it will hurt but do it anyway. I know it’s scary, it’s hard but if Buffy jumps Willow will just bring her back and then she’ll not be Buffy again for a while, also when Willow brings her back it’s this huge catalyst for the end of the slayer period. So jump.

You’ll be happy in your life before that; not all of it will be real or even easy but you will.

So let me tell you some other key things. Don’t take Mom or Buffy for granted; you’ll loose them and they are the only family you’ll ever have.

Stop making up a secret relationship with Xander in your head ok? Cause it’s just not healthy, besides he’s totally in love with Anya and you are just a kid.

You are never going to leave Buffy’s shadow, but it’s not her fault you are there, it’s everyone’s so don’t take it all out on her. She’s just along for the ride just like the rest of us. You will always be Buffy’s little sister; there’s nothing you can do about it so just get over it already ok? Stop complaining all the time and enjoy life while you have it, because you still have to jump off that tower at 14, got me?

Boys aren’t icky, but don’t waste your time worrying about them because you need to spend time with Mom and Buffy and your friends, in the end they are the only ones that matter.

Oh, no matter what anyone says Spike won’t hurt you, don’t let them take him away. He’s your best friend in the world and he won’t treat you like a kid or just Buffy’s sister, but he’s totally in love with her so don’t delude yourself into thinking he could want you. Nobody’s ever going to want you. Trust me, just keep going and love your family and it’ll be enough. Don’t bother being upset about things you can’t change.

Dad? He’s an asshole and you and Buffy shouldn’t waste your time trying to prove anything to him. He won’t even show up to mom’s funeral and you’ll spend all night crying in Buffy’s arms wanting her to take it away but she can’t, she’s not even dealing either. Don’t push her.

Dawn, DO NOT TRY TO BRING MOM BACK, she won’t be herself, you’ll want her arms around you so badly that you feel like you’ll die if she can’t hold you but don’t do it. You don’t want her like that.

Life sucks, it’s depressing and morbid; but you aren’t even real so there’s no point in worrying about it. When you wonder if you even have a soul ask Spike what it’s like, you’ll want to so badly but you won’t because you’ll be too afraid to know if you don’t have one. Ask him if the monks could make a human does that mean they can make a soul? Don’t let him tell Buffy or Giles, cause then they’ll say whatever they think will make you feel better, but they won’t know. I’m not sure if you have a soul, sometimes you’ll feel so empty and you’ll wonder if it’s normal.

I don’t know that answer.

But Dawn? Jump off that damn tower, if you don’t everything will go to hell. Buffy will be sad, but she’ll get over it. Jump. If you only choose to listen to one thing I say. JUMP.

Because if you don’t? It’s all your fault.

Love Always,

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Muse: Dawn Summers
Word Count: 790
Current Mood: determineddetermined
Dawn Summers
08 November 2005 @ 11:24 pm
Dawn was sipping a cooling coffee and made a face as the bitter liquid flowed down her throat, "Ugh, Buffy's coffee sucks, why do they let her make it?" She looked over at Anna and sighed then looked back down at the huge book in her lap. "Research used to be fun, xander would like bring donuts and stuff and we'd figure everything out and then yay!" She sighed, "But now everyones on edge and acting weird."

Anna laid on the bed on her stomach, propping herself up on one elbow, fist planted against her face as she stared blankly at the page of the book. A yawn escaped her and she looked over at Dawn. "Maybe because there's no Starbucks?" She giggled, rolling over and pushing herself up to a sitting position and pulling the book into her lap. "Yeah, the tension level is pretty high around here lately. But, look at it this way, at least the newest drama has pulled the focus away from us for awhile. Well, except for Lis and her glaring. That's worse than jail I think."

Research Party for TwoCollapse )She shook her head, this was too big for her and Anna, she was smart enough to know that. "This is so not going to make things better, ugh, we have to tell Buffy and Willow."
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Dawn Summers
02 November 2005 @ 09:05 pm
So the great idea Anna and I had to throw a Halloween party? I should have known better, at least this time there were no vampires present (which where the hell were our fangy friends anyway, do they not think I'm a good host?) to flirt with me and then make my first kiss from a vampire ... Yeah I have issues. And no one turned into their costumes, at least that I'm aware of anyway.

At first it was ok, besides Buffy being all mega-nurse-slutty; why she didn't check the size of that costume before she bought it? I just will never understand. Then there was Cordelia's taunting of me which I wish hadn't bothered me as much as it did. I guess I was just finally getting over whatever crappy thing had gotten into me and I was just like you know I made a mistake, we all do that, and then she goes and brings it all back up and is so mean to me.

So I bailed for a while, Anna and I hung out in the bathroom. Thank god for Anna though, if it weren't for her I'd have gone completely batty. Buffy didn't even try to help me which I'd be more angry about if I hadn't been so rude to her before. I did get my chance to apologize though which YAY! Cause that's really been on my mind lately and I know Faith said she wouldn't tell her about my little bitch fest the other day but I was still worried.

Buffy's all I have left. I mean ok I have Willow and Xander and everything but it's different. I know they don't just like me because of Buffy but it felt like that for a long time.

Speaking of Xander he hasn't been around lately. I was so into my own little world that I hadn't even noticed he hadn't been around! He wasn't at he party, which might actually be a good thing because of Cordelia turning into the evil bitch monster of death. The history being brought up probably would have been bad. Still Xander!

It all went to hell when Faith started dancing with that girl Jamie and Buffy started getting these looks on her face. One's that I hadn't see her get in a really long time, like back when she and Angel were trying to not be together and Faith was evil. Now it was directed towards Faith.

In the end Buffy punched Faith & Jamie and then stormed off. Which you know it could have been worse and all but that was definately not how I wanted my first party at Abruizzi to go. And I wasn't going to clean all that mess up by myself.

But Buffy & Faith? I was trying not to think about it because I've known too much about my sisters sex life since I was a kid and I've never really been all that comfortable with it. I mean ew!

As if things weren't weird enough around here.

I just went to my room and laid down, oh the tangled webs THEY weave.